humor

This category contains 95 posts

Florida Man, the World’s Worst Superhero

I live in Central Florida, which is a different world from coastal Florida. Coastal Florida is inhabited mostly by Yankee transplants and has beautiful beaches, pricey real estate, and billboards advertising sinkhole insurance. True cracker Florida extends down the center of the state, where they know how to catch, cook and eat gators, can fix … Continue reading

The Holy Fool

The Holy Fool is a Russian archetype which derives from the idea that a person who truly does what Jesus said must be a fool. Kind of an admirable fool, but a fool nonetheless. It comes from those outrageous things Jesus said like, ā€œForgive your enemies, give to the poor, and restrict your sex life … Continue reading

Serious Artists My Arse

I teach at the Suwannee River Studio as a volunteer and one day launched into a mini-lecture about being serious artists. Then I noticed two members were making something under the table. It turned out they were sculpting spiders to scare me with, so I gave up on my serious artist speech. Nothing wrong with … Continue reading

Ideas that propel history

History is Propaganda with footnotes.-Je’ I’ve been watching the History of Western Civilization. Often such documentariesĀ make me cuss mentally because they are so full of propaganda, but this series is not too bad. The speaker has a dry sense of humor and he said burning people at the stake for ideas is evil, but then … Continue reading

It’s always darkest…when the power goes off at midnight

Last night we had an epic storm, the kind where the lightning flashes continuously. It poured rain and the lights went flicker, flicker. This is not unusual actually, and the lights usually come back on in a few minutes. But last night at midnight, the power went OFF. I had almost fallen asleep listening to … Continue reading

Except for these cactus spines stuck in my butt…

How is your week going? Good, I hope. Mine is going well, except for those cactus spines stuck in my butt. If you ever get cactus spines stuck in your butt, here’s how to get rid of them. You see, a few years ago I rescued a cactus from beside the road and planted it … Continue reading

(Not Really the) Mental Health Hotline

I used to work as a mental health professional and believe me, crazy people, and I may be one, would laugh their arses off at this video. Having just been told by a machine that my “call was very important” to it and remembering once being on hold so long the muzak changed to “Billy … Continue reading

What if You are Actually a Brain in a Vat?

If you study much philosophy, you will at some point understand why Athens condemned Socrates to death. Not that he was Corrupting the Morals of the Youth, the formal charge, but that philosophers ask uncomfortable, if not ridiculous, questions. Since I always wanted to be certain, to know, I gravitated to epistemology, that is, the … Continue reading

The Law of Inevitable A**holes

How’s your week going? Good, I hope. As a former missionary, I try to avoid profanity (with mixed results so far.) Profanity is so over-used that it loses its punch. So I save F-bombs for when I’m really outraged (and then I repent.) The word A**hole pops up so frequently that I began to study … Continue reading

Law of Horizontal Attraction

I have formulated a theory and have tested it so often it is now a law: Je’s Law of Horizontal Attraction. Please feel free to test it at you house. The Law of Horizontal Attraction: Horizontal surfaces attract things: letters, pens, books, snacks, cell phones, all kinds of things. I tested it after the last … Continue reading