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Florida Man, the World’s Worst Superhero

I live in Central Florida, which is a different world from coastal Florida. Coastal Florida is inhabited mostly by Yankee transplants and has beautiful beaches, pricey real estate, and billboards advertising sinkhole insurance. True cracker Florida extends down the center of the state, where they know how to catch, cook and eat gators, can fix anything with bailing wire and duct tape and address women asĀ  “Mam.”

You may have heard of Florida Man from headlines like “Florida Man Takes a Live Gator on His Beer Run.” Here are some Florida Man headlines:

Florida Man Denies Syringes Found in Rectum Are His

Florida Man Chews Up Police Car Seat After Cocaine Arrest

Florida Man Threatens to Kill Man With ‘Kindness,’ Uses Machete Named ‘Kindness’

Florida Man Accused of Luring Kids Tells Cops He Can’t Recall As He ‘Drinks 18-20 Beers’ Before Talking to Children

Florida Man, Woman Run Over By Patrol Car While Lying in Road to Watch Eclipse

Florida Man Learns Hard Way He Stole Laxatives, Not Opioids

Florida Man Accused of Robbing Chinese Restaurant at Finger Point

Florida Man Caught on Camera Licking Doorbell

Florida Man Who Allegedly Threatened Family with Coldplay Lyrics Ends Standoff After SWAT Promises Him Pizza

Florida Man, the World’s Worst Superhero.